Journeys With a Pregnant Lady

Week 12

Kim has now entered the 12th week. As I said in a previous post, she might actually be officially 13 weeks. The ultrasound person went with our numbers, but Monday when we go to Kim's doctor who knows.

So I will blend the 12 and 13 week descriptions, of the little tike, together. Well, she is about 3 inches long, which is about the size of a jumbo shrimp. Babycenter.com says she is starting to develop reflexes and "She’ll even squirm if you prod your abdomen, though you still won't be able to feel her movement for several weeks." I'm not sure if you want to prod your child in the womb. Imagine sitting in a dark room, made of rubber; with the walls, floor, and ceiling constantly collapsing in on you, because some giant is sticking their fingers into it. That doesn't seem like that much fun.

It is amazing how the baby takes shape in the womb. Right now everything is like jelly in there, sliding and moving around her body into their final position. For instance, her eyes are like on the side of her head slowly sliding to the center as her head grows.

I know this Babycenter.com site must be right with its stats because Kim said she was feeling heartburn at the same time as the site said she would. The site says she will be exchanging her nausea for heartburn in the coming weeks. I think Kim hates the heartburn more than the nausea, but right now she has both.

Updated stats* as of this date:

Date of birth** : February 9, 2006
gender*** : Female
Current status (weeks) : 12 weeks
Room status : not started
Kim's emotion status**** : low
Nausea level : moderate
Heartburn level : High

*stats are subject to change upon finding out Him is stupid and was wrong
**subject to change, contest possibilities
***assuming the Baby Gender Mentor people don't suck and know what they are doing
****Subject to change based on Him's attentiveness and Kim's nausea level

Ultrasound

Today was the day. Went to the hospital to have our fist ultrasound. Let me just say that everything went well. Baby is great.

Heartbeat.... check (155 beats per min.)
arms..... check (two)
legs..... check (two)
head..... check (one)
spine.... check (one)

Those are about the only things I could make out.

I was nervous today. But you all know that if you read the blog. Kim had to drink a certain amount of water in order to help the ultrasound work well. So she drank 32oz of water, which she had to hold in until after the ultrasound was done. I wanted her to feel like I was as invested in this appointment as her, so I drank 32oz with her. When we got to the hospital I immediately had to go. I tried to be a sport and sit and "take it like a man", but alas I thought, "Screw this". So I caved and went to the bathroom before we went in to the ultrasound room. In my defense I didn't "go" this morning before I drank the water. So I wasn't properly prepared for the extra fluids. I tried, and the intentions were there.

We waited a while in the waiting room. The wing of the hospital that the ultrasound area is in is older. So the waiting room although clean, looked dated. I think dated things look rundown sometimes. We had to wait a while so I tried to watch TV. The TV wasn't that good. Jumpin' Jack Flash with Woopie Golberg was on, but the TV was so old and faded you could barely watch it. I thought that wasn't a good sign, I hope the equipment they use is up to date.

So we waited.

When we finally went in the room with all the equipment, I was pleasantly surprised. The stuff is new. Or at least looked new, which goes a long way. The nurse lubed up Kim and bang we were on our way. After a few compulsory measurements, she said here is your baby. So cool…. the little tike flailed her arms and spun around, she did all sorts of things. Later I noticed that some of the movement I thought was the kid’s was the nurse just repositioning the sensor thingy. But she did do stuff.

The machine they use for the ultrasound has all sorts of things that would be useful for us parents. It can record pictures and video onto about six different formats, including an only okay copy picture printed on some sort of cash register receipt paper. I asked if I could have video or digital copies put onto a disc. Nope. You know why? Cause the video and cool stuff might be used in a law suit or something. Bogus. They only give you the cash register receipt, and you cherish it. I treated the flimsy little prints like gold, gently folding the images she gave us. It is funny how my urges to protect her, even unborn, are already strong. I felt like I needed to have those first pictures of her protected at all costs.

I have included one of them above. I didn't feel like drawing in Photoshop to show you where everything is. I will tell you it is a side view. Her head is on the left while she lies on her back looking straight up. On the right are her little legs and in the middle-top are her little arms and hands.

The only hitch in the process was that the nurse seems to think that our calculations on how far along Kim is might be off. The little girl inside Kim has the measurements of a 12 week six day old baby and we the math wizards have her at 11 weeks and six days old. Who is right? There is exactly one week difference there. Well, she said since we are so sure on the number they would use ours. So as I write this our little girl is about to turn 12 weeks old. At least she is for now until the doctor decides to change it later.

Christmas in July

Just two more days before another landmark in our pregnancy. The first ultrasound. I feel like a kid. I'm constantly thinking about it. As a guy we don't share the same intimacy as the woman during pregnancy. Like it or not women experience the pregnancy first hand the whole time. Sure Kim has been sick everyday throughout this first trimester. Sure she is tired. Sure she can't eat. But with all of those negatives come all the positives, like feeling the baby inside.

Wait that is all I can think of right now. I know there are more positives. Ladies help me out here. I'll leave the positives up to the women out there who have already had kids.

But anyway...

All those things, good or bad, bring a feeling reality to the pregnancy. Something tangible that hits you across the head and says, "YO, YOU ARE PREGNANT!". Guys don't get that. We have to wait for those moments where the doctor, with the help of technology, makes it real for us. I can't wait. I'm sure there will be a rush of sheer panic and total excitement that will wash over me. Not to mention the cool pictures and sound files you get. Should I bring my own recorder or do they give you a tape? I'll have to find that out.

I am a little nervous though. We know Kim is pregnant. We got that test down; with the numerous pregnancy tests we took. The doctor even confirmed that. Even though it still bothers me that I can't remember the words "Yes you are pregnant" come out of his mouth. But I guess he assumes we know since he keeps scheduling us for office visits. And since some statistics equate nausea with more successful pregnancies, we assume everything is great. But this will be the first of many times the doctors will evaluate that for us, and that scares me.

I'm sure everything is fine; in fact I know it is. But I will breathe easier when they tell me that.

Boy or Girl, I Was Screwed from Conception

I was thinking yesterday about how happy I am we are having a girl. There are a couple of reasons.

I've been worried that if we had a boy, because of how short both Kim and I are, he would be short to. I know what some of you are saying. Him you aren't short, but 5’ 6 1/2'' is pretty short to me. I know it isn't really that short, but believe me, it felt short growing up. Now, couple my height with Kim's 5' 5" frame and you might have yourself one short kid.

Besides, It is more socially expectable for a girl to be short. She isn't going to have problems dating boys or feel awkward in social situations if she is short (I'll be addressing her not dating boys in future posts). Not to mention it won't feel that weird for me if our daughter turns out to be taller than me.

We went to the Westmont Bagel near us yesterday. Behind Kim in another booth were six, freshman in college age, guys. It seemed that they were just done playing baseball or something. They were laughing and talking al the while being rough with each other. You Know, the typical banter and actions that you would expect from a bunch of guys. They seemed like nice upstanding young men; raised well by their parents (I thought this because they pretty much cleaned up after themselves). They were big, way bigger than me. At that moment I couldn't picture myself as anything else but a father to a daughter.
I tried to visualize one of the boys as my son. I couldn't see it. Why? I don't know. I would do all the things you would think a father would do with his son. So Why no connection? Maybe it is because I'm mentally preparing for a daughter.

But then... it something happened...

Moments later a young girl came in with what I guess was her mother. My mind almost exploded. She must have only been 13 or 14. The girl was wearing the shortest and tightest cotton jersey shorts ever; coupled with an equally too tight cotton tank. If that wasn't enough her stomach was showing slightly. These clothes were so ill-fitting and so tight that she must have dressed in the dark and put on her 7 year-old sister's clothes by accident.

The clothes squeezing her body so tight must have pumped a pheromone into the air. You could see the guys in the other booth almost tilting back their heads sniffing the air before they even saw her. Not only was I mad at the mother for allowing her daughter to dress like that, but I was mad at the college guys for making their funny comments about her.

Wait... No... Son-of-a-Bitch.
I'm having a daughter.

I will never and I mean never (and I say this now, knowing hard it must be to enforce) let our daughter wear clothes like that. I became once again aware that boys are going to look at our daughter like that.

Then I thought.

How can I be a father to a daughter?

Facts and Figures

I realize I haven't listed any information about how far along Kim is or any stats like that. That's because, one I forgot and two it has been very confusing for me. Some people say I am a smarty and able to understand things very easily. Not this pregnancy thing.

I blame it on our doctor.

It all started with the first office visit. When Kim called to set up our first appointment, they told us we had to wait till she was 8 weeks. So we did. When we got there the doctor said Kim was 61/2 weeks. Huh. Something about... he doesn't count the two weeks we count. I don't know.

All I know is that when I put in the date of Kim’s last period in the Babycenter.com, I get the same due date as the doctor. They provide a week by week progress list, the doctor didn't, so I will go by their weeks.

So here are some stats*

Date of birth** : February 9, 2006
gender*** : Female
Current status (weeks) : 11 weeks
Room status : not started
Kim's emotion status**** : Happy
Nausea level : moderate

I'll use Babycenter.com for the fetus descriptions. I'm not sure if they are the best but that is one of the websites Kim looked at. So until I find something better it will be the standard.

Our kid should be around 1 1/2 inches long and fully shaped with her fingers and toes separated, ready to open and close. The site also says she is probably kicking and stretching, although Kim won't feel that for a while. Her skin is transparent, allowing some blood vessels to show. That last bit sounds a lot like me. Babycenter.com description

*stats are subject to change upon finding out Him is stupid and was wrong
**subject to change, contest possibilities
***assuming the Baby Gender Mentor people don't suck and know what they are doing
****Subject to change based on Him's attentiveness and Kim's nausea level

Shrimp Anyone?

I understand why husbands could gain weight (or loose weight) during pregnancy. Not only weight, but I can see how there can be all kinds of physical affects on the man even though he isn't the one carrying the child.

My diet has been horrible (not that it was that good before). I haven't gained weight yet; I'm sure that will come later. But the combination of Kim being sick with no appitite, and my primordial instinctive urge to protect and care for her, I haven't really wanted to eat. Hoping Kim is okay and eating enough food has been all I can think about.

Kim's diet through the Nausea consisted of:

Eggo Waffles
English muffins
Cranberry juice
Water
Toast
Peanut butter and jelly
Pickles
Pierogies
Carrots

All in very small portions and most likely it was coming up right after.

I have eaten what Kim has eaten. Not much fun for either of us. Especially because we love eating out for entertainment. And I'm sure Kim would say she just likes eating without vomiting.

That all changed. No more prison food for him and Kim, for we ate like kings. I drove for take-out from Bahama Breeze. Kim is still weary of smells and thought a foray into a restaurant would be too much. So we chose some take-out and our backyard patio for a location. This meal contained the first vegetables I have had in thee weeks, and it was the best Bahama Breeze has ever tasted. Okay, Kim only had an appetizer not a feast. But I still consider her appetizer a huge leap forward.

I see how one person's emotions and physical feelings impact the others around them. When Kim is sick and down, I am sick and down. I even see changes in the way the animals behave when one of us isn't feeling well. The whole house seems to slow down. With Kim starting to smile again everything seems to be getting back up to speed.

I hope this will be last post referencing vomit until my next blog,
"Kids, They Vomit Everywhere"

We are having a...

I was planning on talking about my feelings on pregnancy and ponder what kind a father I will be.... But that is put hold for an important announcement.

I sent out the gender test yesterday in the FedEx envelope that they provided. Today I checked the tracking number and it said it was delivered today at 9:30am. I figured we would wait 48 hours for the testing of the blood and results. Nope. The results of the test are in. We just went to the site... logged in and....

We are having a girl.

Very cool. Both Kim and I are ecstatic. The smile on Kim’s face... HUGE.

Here is how they write the results on the Babygendermontor.com site:

"Congratulations! You will be expecting a baby girl based on the amount of fetal genetic materials obtained from your blood specimen. Our assay has concluded that at this moment there are NO fetus-originated Y-specific chromosome sequence detectable in your sample, indicating that you are currently carrying female fetus only!
Thank you for choosing BabyGenderMentor Home DNA Gender Test. "

I think I can conclude that this test is the 99.9% accurate it says. My worries about contamination are gone.

3 Good Days, He Said

I'm calling this a banner day. I'm not sure Kim would agree since she still feels sick, but I believe the tides have turned, literally. The past three days food has entered Kim’s body never to seen or heard from again. Hopefully that is a trend that can be maintained.

After this morning and the attempt to extract a copious amount of blood from Kim's fingers to fill three extremely large circles on a sample card ended in frustration and failure; this afternoon's blood bath worked like a charm.

At Lunch I went to the store to purchase more lancets. I still don't know why the company only provided two, when I had to buy a box of one hundred in order for Kim two more that were needed to fill the circles. Of course this could have been avoided if they included two extra. But I will stop complaining. Kim pricked her finger two more times, filled the circles, and sealed up the package.

The package is on its way. It should get to the lab on Monday, and if all goes okay I hope we will know Wednesday or Thursday.

Being Cutting Edge is Always a Problem

This Baby Gender Mentor test thing sucks. We received our second test yesterday after screwing up the first. There were two things that screwed us up the first time. We thought they were both our fault. NOT. Only one was. The other I see as a flaw in the design of the test, the amount of supplies included, and poor use of directions.

They give you two lancets (a thingy to prick your fingers for blood extraction) which you would think is all you need for applying enough blood to three circles an inch or so in diameter.

Along with our legitimate user error from the first test, Kim was unsuccessful in extracting enough blood to adequately fill the three circles on both tests.

Crap. That sucks. What are we going to do? Dammit to hell. Son-of-a-BITCH.

I chose to call and see if there was a way to salvage the test.

I say, "What can you do if you can't extract enough blood"
They say, "Oh, you'll need to go to the drug store and but more lancets to extract more blood."

Wait.

If you know that two lancets aren't enough to get the amount of blood required for an accurate test, than why don't you put four friggin' things in the damn box?
I didn't ask that question; I just said thank you and hung up.

Now the box will sit till lunch when I buy more prickers to prick my poor pregnant wife's fingers. All the while the test sits… just asking for little bits of my DNA to creep in and settle on the sample or in the box it ships in, or where ever it needs to in order to corrupt the test and make us think we are having a boy.

I know that the ultrasound that is done further along in the pregnancy has a chance of being wrong. An even more chance of being wrong as a matter of fact, but I think I would prefer that. Then at least it would be the fault of the doctors and not ours.

The more I think about how DNA is everywhere and how this test uses it to give you 99.9% accuracy, I'm not sure it is worth it. Where is there a clean place in our house devoid of any and all of my DNA that could accidentally get into the blood sample and screw up the test? And we are clean people. What about all those dirty people in the world? Or the people who don't read the directions? How can their test be the slightest bit safe from contamination? How little of male contact is required to skew the sample?

I'm not built for this cutting edge pregnancy technology. I'm worried. For the amount of money they charge for the fun of this test, they should provide a healthcare worker to come to you home and administer the test; taking all sterile precautions required.

Vomit or not

Today was a good day. I’m not sure Kim would agree. But I think it was.

Kim went to work and there was no vomiting. I guess there might be something to those Sea-bands. Not only are they incredibly fashionable (not) but the might just work.

I doubt it.

I think it was Kim's will that kept her from the sickness. But I bet just like baseball players and their superstitions, Kim will wear the Wonder Woman bracelets tomorrow. Just in case.

Kim signed us up for Consumer Reports today. Now the search begins for the safe yet functional yet fashionable yet safe yet affordable baby tools (i.e. car seats and cribs… etc) begins.

I think we will get a second at the gender test tomorrow.
I think we can do it this time without screwing it up.

Wonder Woman

Kim went to work with Sea-bands on each wrist. They went perfectly with her outfit. She looked like a urban Wonder Woman.

Second doctors visit

We had our second doctor visit today.

Since this is only our second visit, I’m still not sure where my place is or what I'm supposed to do. I want to be as involved and supportive in these visits as I can, and I don't want to miss any of the moments that might happen. But I don't want to interfere with things between Kim and the doctor.

So, I immediately head to the same seat I sat in our last visit. I feel comfortable there, so I dubbed it my new assigned seat. I told myself that kim would make sure I didn't miss anything.

I was summoned to the room for hopefully a first in this pregnancy.

Hearing our first heartbeat.
Nope.
Disappointment.
I guess it was a first... the first of many times where we try to get our kid to do something and he/she doesn't want to. Not even out of the womb yet and already causing mom and dad problems.

After the doctor made a couple of attempts with the "heartbeat device" there was no hearing the heartbeat this week. He said something about the uterus might still be behind the pelvic wall.

We will have to wait till next weeks ultrasound for hearing the heartbeat.

Remedies

Today I purchased Sea-bands for Kim in the hopes that they would help with her nausea. These bands are supposed to push on a pressure point (Nei Kuan acupressure point) in the wrist to cure the vomitus feelings. Kim tried them, and.... nothing. Although, I think she will give them a try tomorrow.

I think for this holistic approach to work you have to really believe in them. I'm not sure Kim is sold on them. I'll have to see if the company has any guarantee on their product that it will work. I fear these wrist bands will just be added to the every growing list of failed nausea remedies.

Here is the list so far:
1. Saltines (taken in the beginning when nausea was no big deal)
2. Ginger and ginger type products (used when nausea escalated)
3. Hard candies
4. Sea-bands
5. Mylanta & Tums (bought at the same time and on the doctors approved list)
6. Breathing techniques (my remedy for whenever I am sick)

Baby Gender Test

We cracked open the Baby Gender Mentor box to take the gender test. This DNA test looks for the Y chromosome in Kim's blood. Since she wouldn't normally have the Y chromosome in her blood the presence of the Y will tell us we are having a boy. No Y and we are having a girl. Because the test is so sensitive, males can't help with the test. Apparently my DNA might schluff off onto the test and screw it up. So I had to stay in the hallway, while Kim was in the bathroom, backseat driving with the instructions in my hands.

The test comes nicely packaged and on first appearances seems simple and clearly explained. Then it becomes less simple when you go to do it. Not because it is complicated, but because you're too nervous about making a mistake. DNA seems so simple. A prick of the finger. A little blood on a card. Wala, you have your test. But wait what if you collect it wrong? It wouldn't take much, what If some boy DNA (mine) off the bathroom sink gets in there? You think your having a boy. Surprise.

The test didn't go very well. There was a situation with tearing the wrong perforation on the blood sample card. And there was an issue with the little needle doohickey. Sufficed to say I ordered a new test. Hopefully in a few days it will come and we will try again.

Here is the first post about the test.

Super Human Senses

Pregnant ladies get superhuman powers. They seem to develop super senses. Kim can smell the littlest trace of anything. Although I don't smell anything she does.
I am the only person who has been in the kitchen in weeks. She has entered a couple of times but alway with her hand over her mouth.

Garlic seems to be the smell she can pinpoint the most, and I never knew it but I am the equivalent to a garlic refinery pumping out billowing smells of garlic through my pores. I could eat just one cracker and the moment I walk into the room she says you have had garlic today.

Controversial Test

We watched the Today Show and they aired a segment on and ultra-early and ultra-controversial DNA based gender test. You can find out the gender of you unborn child as early as 5 weeks. I was like cool, but oh great it is probably dangerous. Turns out it is not dangerous. What makes it controversial is the media. They feel the need to create hysteria about people using this test to help make certain that they have the gender they want and not have to gender they don't want.

Well, we just want to know what we are having.
So why not get the news early?
I bought the test.

This will put us months ahead of the game. I figure aside from the coolness factor, we will be saving mucho dinero. Just think, 6-9 month-old summer clothing is on clearance right now. If we knew the sex of the child now we could buy the discounted clothes for next summer. If we wait till the typical 21 weeks or so, we will have to buy the clothes during that season thus spending twice the money. I will always be ahead the seasons. Genius.

But really is just too cool.

You just prick the finger of the pregnant lady send it on in to the DNA testing geniuses and poof, you know the sex within 48 hours. Cool.