July 21, 2005
Being Cutting Edge is Always a Problem
This Baby Gender Mentor test thing sucks. We received our second test yesterday after screwing up the first. There were two things that screwed us up the first time. We thought they were both our fault. NOT. Only one was. The other I see as a flaw in the design of the test, the amount of supplies included, and poor use of directions.
They give you two lancets (a thingy to prick your fingers for blood extraction) which you would think is all you need for applying enough blood to three circles an inch or so in diameter.
Along with our legitimate user error from the first test, Kim was unsuccessful in extracting enough blood to adequately fill the three circles on both tests.
Crap. That sucks. What are we going to do? Dammit to hell. Son-of-a-BITCH.
I chose to call and see if there was a way to salvage the test.
I say, "What can you do if you can't extract enough blood"
They say, "Oh, you'll need to go to the drug store and but more lancets to extract more blood."
Wait.
If you know that two lancets aren't enough to get the amount of blood required for an accurate test, than why don't you put four friggin' things in the damn box?
I didn't ask that question; I just said thank you and hung up.
Now the box will sit till lunch when I buy more prickers to prick my poor pregnant wife's fingers. All the while the test sits… just asking for little bits of my DNA to creep in and settle on the sample or in the box it ships in, or where ever it needs to in order to corrupt the test and make us think we are having a boy.
I know that the ultrasound that is done further along in the pregnancy has a chance of being wrong. An even more chance of being wrong as a matter of fact, but I think I would prefer that. Then at least it would be the fault of the doctors and not ours.
The more I think about how DNA is everywhere and how this test uses it to give you 99.9% accuracy, I'm not sure it is worth it. Where is there a clean place in our house devoid of any and all of my DNA that could accidentally get into the blood sample and screw up the test? And we are clean people. What about all those dirty people in the world? Or the people who don't read the directions? How can their test be the slightest bit safe from contamination? How little of male contact is required to skew the sample?
I'm not built for this cutting edge pregnancy technology. I'm worried. For the amount of money they charge for the fun of this test, they should provide a healthcare worker to come to you home and administer the test; taking all sterile precautions required.
