Journeys With a Pregnant Lady

The Power of Silence

I didn't realize the power inaction has sometimes. With my month off from talking bout the pregnancy I didn't know people would start thinking that there was something wrong with the pregnancy. One of our friends emailed after my last post and wrote that he was glad that the pregnancy was still going well and that he thought there might have been something wrong.

I'm sorry my laziness made everyone worry.

Let me get you caught up on everything that has been happening besides the most recent ultrasound.

Kim no longer vomits all the time. She has been known to partake in a little vomiting from time-to-time in the past month, but nowhere near the levels that she had been at before.

The crib has been chosen and ordered. We went with a nice Canalli crib, the Claudia to be exact. The picture is of a wood colored Claudia, so you will have to imagine it in white. These Canalli cribs a very highly rated but there is only one place within like a hundred miles to get them, luckily there is one just down the highway.

This should be a safe crib fulfilling all the requirements outlined in a previous post.

I have started the room that we will be moving into, which will open up our current room for me to prepare for our little girl. I had to paint, which I hate, and I had to put a new floor down. It turned out to be easier than I thought. Armstrong Laminate flooring is the way to go. Although I have only finished 99.9% of it and we haven't put it through the ringer yet. Here is a camera phone image of what the floor looks like.

Probability of a Girl... 100%

Thursday the 22nd marked the 20th week in the pregnancy, and it also was the day of our second ultrasound. Now I'm not going to lie, I was still very skeptical of the test we took earlier in the pregnancy to determine gender. Now, I believe in the test, but there were too many variables left to us to screw-up. I also wasn't sure how many grains of salt I should take this ultrasound with. But combining the two tests together I feel confident in saying there is a 100% chance of girl around February 9, 2006.

You might be wondering... Where is the next ultrasound picture? Well, the little girl is already defying her parents and would not cooperate for a side-view-take-home-picture.

The ultrasound went great. There are many measurements they have to take of all the going's on inside our daughter. Her weight is 12 oz. and she now measures as 5 days older than our do date. So Feb. 9 seems to be right on target. But when it came to the money shot... The shot her parents were waiting for... she said, "enough" and decided not to cooperate. She was facing in a direction that the nurse couldn't get a shot.

Oh well, the most important thing was the organ and bone measurements. We'll have plenty of pictures once she is born.

Long Hiatus

So after a very long pause... I'm back.

Hopefully I will salvage some of the popularity that I had before. Please spread the news to the "Friends of Him" that Him is back and ready to go.

Sorry.

In Da Crib

So Kim and I started looking at cribs. I didn't realize how complicated the crib buying process could be. Like all good parents to be, Kim and I first signed up for Consumer Reports. Although, I am not sold on Consumer reports. They are helpful, but they don't seem to report on every of "whatever product" in its particular category. The reports are sometimes over six months old and don’t reflect the newest products out there. But they are the industry standard, so we will use them.

If you read enough about cribs, you soon realize that this is your first chance not to kill your kid. The information sources out there would have you believe that every other crib on the market is potentially dangerous.

If the slats (or bars) of the crib aren't close enough together... your kid will get strangled.

If there is exposed hardware on the crib... your kid will get maimed in some way.

Is there any particleboard used in the construction? Hope not, the kid will succumb to chemical fumes.

How about that wood finish, does it have enough coats of a safe material for your kid to chew on? Hope so, or else the kid buys it.

You would think that there is one standard that all cribs are held to, and that safety would be on the top of every maker’s list. Why even get into the crib building business unless you are going to make safe cribs, right? So I’m sure that every legitimate crib maker makes a relatively safe product. But with the cautions all swirling around in your head, you immediately go to the high price cribs.

I'm not sure that the higher priced cribs are better, considering that one of the highest rated Consumer Reports cribs is only a $100, but the higher priced ones look nice.

I didn't realize that these things are like Transformers, the turn into like 10 different things. They go from a crib to an adult full-size bed. Doesn't that seem weird? These Cribs are so nice that when they convert to a full-size bed, they have a headboard and footboard that almost looks better than the ones we have on our bed.

Like I said, we are only just starting our crib journey. Now if every purchase for the child takes this much thought, we might not have everything purchased before she is born.

When I know more about cribs I will write more.

Regular People

Kim woke up this morning with adventure in mind. She said, get dressed I want a waffle from the Silver Diner, and hurry I don't know how long I will be feeling okay. I leaped to my feet got dressed and we were off. This was the first attempt to actually eat inside a restaurant in 3 months.

We parked at the Silver Diner and walked to the door.

Could this be really be happening?
Are we really going to go inside?

Just feet from the door I looked over at Kim and asked how she was doing. I also asked if she was nervous. The smells inside the dinner were bound to be strong, and it is those smells that are a huge deal breaker when going out to eat at this point.

Yes. Success. We had our first meal sitting in a booth at a restaurant in months.
There were certain restrictions though, I wasn't allowed to get an omelet for breakfast. Kim is having a problem looking at or smelling eggs. So I sat with my caramel french toast and Kim sat with her waffle and I felt like we were regular people again.

Poll: Call to the People

Help! I am under siege. There is already dissention in the ranks for naming our baby. I didn't think it would come so soon. I blame myself really. If I hadn't purchased that gender test, I would have been able to build a case for certain names that I like to remain on the list for at least one or two more months.

Everything was working so well. We were being very equitable about putting names on the short list. We shared in the experience of taking the highlighted prospects from "The Perfect Name: A Step-By-Step Guide to Naming Your Baby" book and placing them onto a written list. We combined the first names with the last name to see what worked. This action narrowed the field quite a bit, because not all names go with my last name very well.

Now, Kim is trying to take control. She has already rejected a name on the list. And it just so happens to be a name that I like. I think this name rejection to be very premature. We are only entering the second trimester. Should we really be rejecting names that reside on the short list now?

I'm taking my problem to the people. This is your first of many chances to sway the balance of power between him and Kim. I need your help. Here is a poll with the name in question, and I want to see what you say about this name. I'm not saying that I want this name for our daughter but I just think it is premature to just cast it aside as Kim has done. Please tell as many people you can to stop by and cast their vote. I want this poll to be statistically relevant, and the more people who vote will achieve that.

The Name is Maura. Kim seems to think that the name doesn't work. I think it sounds kind of cool. Picture this... Maura sounds like a girl that won't like mainstream music. She will like indie bands and go to small venue concerts instead of Backstreet Boys type shows. Maura sounds like she will be deep, a thinker, always looking to expand her mind. She isn't just interested in the superficial. If she is good looking Maura wouldn't lean toward the slutty side. The slightly quirky name mellows out her looks and keeps her grounded. Like I said I don't necessarily want it, but I think the name warrants consideration.

What do you think?
Should she stay on the list for now?
The results of the poll will decide if the name stays or goes.
Click for Poll

Conspiracy

I think there is a worldwide conspiracy among all mothers to hide certain painful details about motherhood. In order to perpetuate the species they neglect certain difficulties when discussing pregnancy with a prospective mother. Sure, They have to share the painful world of child delivery, because we all know pushing a child out of the body must really hurt; Even us guys know that, and believe me deep down inside we thank our lucky stars we aren't the ones who have to endure the process. Since we all know birth hurts, the consortium of recent mothers out there perpetuating the lie can't hide that fact.

I'm writing this because as far as I can tell Kim has experienced every symptom that the websites say a pregnant lady will experience. She also has them at the exact same time they say she will. Can she possibly be the only one? Unlikely.

Now I distinctly remember hearing Kim talk to friends and acquaintances about pregnancy, and aside from the obvious delivery process talk they seemed to gloss over all the other things that really suck about being pregnant. Why?

Is the delivering of a baby so painful that all other hardships leading up to the day are overshadowed and forgotten?
Is Kim the only one of all the people she knows to have said suckie symptoms?
Is there a chemical released into the mother's brain during delivery that erases the mind of how bad it feels to be pregnant, ensuring that the mother will not mind doing it again?

Or is it a world wide conspiracy by mothers to mothers-to-be ensuring our species doesn't die out. I don't know.

Back on the horse

Sorry I was absent in my posting. I hope I didn't loose too many of you. I feel rejuvenated, and I will try to be more consistent with my posting like before. So come on back now, ya hear.

13 Weeks

So Kim is 13 weeks at this point. But as I said, at our last visit our little girl measured one week ahead. So for people going to www.babycenter.com to read along with Kim's status should keep that in mind. Not much changes this week with our little girl. She is now around 3 1/2 inches long at this point. She might be swinging her arms and legs around, but she is still way too small for Kim to feel it. The only really new thing she is doing at this point going to the bathroom. I guess you gotta go sometime. She does it all right in there to. There isn't a special tube that directs it to Kim bladder. But I will stop writing about that now, sorry.

We had a breakthrough the other day. After many days being a good servant and fetching whatever little snack my little lady requires, only to have her eat two bites and say that it didn't taste right, she finally found one that tasted like before she was pregnant. Cooler Ranch Doritos! Yeah, we have a winner. Kim eats other things but I guess she says they just don't taste like they used to, but Cooler Ranch Doritos do. I looked it up, apparently this is common with pregnant ladies. Foods don't taste the same during pregnancy.

That SUCKS.

All I can say is I am glad that particular aliment doesn't affect me. I love food way too much to have its taste affected. I know it will be great when we have the child, but I will say whatever forces through time have set these symptoms in place during pregnancy could have made it more fun. It is a wonder how so many people have more than one child.

She Makes Sounds

Kim and I heard the first sounds from our little one today. We had a follow-up visit with the doctor and he used the little contraption to let us hear the heartbeat. Her heart beats very fast. 155bpm as a matter of fact, like a little galloping horse. I need to get a tape of that sound. Maybe at the next visit.

I told the doctor about the gender test we took. He got a kick out of it and said we were the first in his practice that he knows who took it. He also saw it talked about on the Today Show. I was a little nervous to bring it up. I thought he would think it was stupid, but he seemed to think it was very cool. I told him about how much it sucked for Kim to take it. I thought that might be helpful incase one of hi other patients aked him about it. I don't want other people to suffer the annoyances

Week 12

Kim has now entered the 12th week. As I said in a previous post, she might actually be officially 13 weeks. The ultrasound person went with our numbers, but Monday when we go to Kim's doctor who knows.

So I will blend the 12 and 13 week descriptions, of the little tike, together. Well, she is about 3 inches long, which is about the size of a jumbo shrimp. Babycenter.com says she is starting to develop reflexes and "She’ll even squirm if you prod your abdomen, though you still won't be able to feel her movement for several weeks." I'm not sure if you want to prod your child in the womb. Imagine sitting in a dark room, made of rubber; with the walls, floor, and ceiling constantly collapsing in on you, because some giant is sticking their fingers into it. That doesn't seem like that much fun.

It is amazing how the baby takes shape in the womb. Right now everything is like jelly in there, sliding and moving around her body into their final position. For instance, her eyes are like on the side of her head slowly sliding to the center as her head grows.

I know this Babycenter.com site must be right with its stats because Kim said she was feeling heartburn at the same time as the site said she would. The site says she will be exchanging her nausea for heartburn in the coming weeks. I think Kim hates the heartburn more than the nausea, but right now she has both.

Updated stats* as of this date:

Date of birth** : February 9, 2006
gender*** : Female
Current status (weeks) : 12 weeks
Room status : not started
Kim's emotion status**** : low
Nausea level : moderate
Heartburn level : High

*stats are subject to change upon finding out Him is stupid and was wrong
**subject to change, contest possibilities
***assuming the Baby Gender Mentor people don't suck and know what they are doing
****Subject to change based on Him's attentiveness and Kim's nausea level

Ultrasound

Today was the day. Went to the hospital to have our fist ultrasound. Let me just say that everything went well. Baby is great.

Heartbeat.... check (155 beats per min.)
arms..... check (two)
legs..... check (two)
head..... check (one)
spine.... check (one)

Those are about the only things I could make out.

I was nervous today. But you all know that if you read the blog. Kim had to drink a certain amount of water in order to help the ultrasound work well. So she drank 32oz of water, which she had to hold in until after the ultrasound was done. I wanted her to feel like I was as invested in this appointment as her, so I drank 32oz with her. When we got to the hospital I immediately had to go. I tried to be a sport and sit and "take it like a man", but alas I thought, "Screw this". So I caved and went to the bathroom before we went in to the ultrasound room. In my defense I didn't "go" this morning before I drank the water. So I wasn't properly prepared for the extra fluids. I tried, and the intentions were there.

We waited a while in the waiting room. The wing of the hospital that the ultrasound area is in is older. So the waiting room although clean, looked dated. I think dated things look rundown sometimes. We had to wait a while so I tried to watch TV. The TV wasn't that good. Jumpin' Jack Flash with Woopie Golberg was on, but the TV was so old and faded you could barely watch it. I thought that wasn't a good sign, I hope the equipment they use is up to date.

So we waited.

When we finally went in the room with all the equipment, I was pleasantly surprised. The stuff is new. Or at least looked new, which goes a long way. The nurse lubed up Kim and bang we were on our way. After a few compulsory measurements, she said here is your baby. So cool…. the little tike flailed her arms and spun around, she did all sorts of things. Later I noticed that some of the movement I thought was the kid’s was the nurse just repositioning the sensor thingy. But she did do stuff.

The machine they use for the ultrasound has all sorts of things that would be useful for us parents. It can record pictures and video onto about six different formats, including an only okay copy picture printed on some sort of cash register receipt paper. I asked if I could have video or digital copies put onto a disc. Nope. You know why? Cause the video and cool stuff might be used in a law suit or something. Bogus. They only give you the cash register receipt, and you cherish it. I treated the flimsy little prints like gold, gently folding the images she gave us. It is funny how my urges to protect her, even unborn, are already strong. I felt like I needed to have those first pictures of her protected at all costs.

I have included one of them above. I didn't feel like drawing in Photoshop to show you where everything is. I will tell you it is a side view. Her head is on the left while she lies on her back looking straight up. On the right are her little legs and in the middle-top are her little arms and hands.

The only hitch in the process was that the nurse seems to think that our calculations on how far along Kim is might be off. The little girl inside Kim has the measurements of a 12 week six day old baby and we the math wizards have her at 11 weeks and six days old. Who is right? There is exactly one week difference there. Well, she said since we are so sure on the number they would use ours. So as I write this our little girl is about to turn 12 weeks old. At least she is for now until the doctor decides to change it later.

Christmas in July

Just two more days before another landmark in our pregnancy. The first ultrasound. I feel like a kid. I'm constantly thinking about it. As a guy we don't share the same intimacy as the woman during pregnancy. Like it or not women experience the pregnancy first hand the whole time. Sure Kim has been sick everyday throughout this first trimester. Sure she is tired. Sure she can't eat. But with all of those negatives come all the positives, like feeling the baby inside.

Wait that is all I can think of right now. I know there are more positives. Ladies help me out here. I'll leave the positives up to the women out there who have already had kids.

But anyway...

All those things, good or bad, bring a feeling reality to the pregnancy. Something tangible that hits you across the head and says, "YO, YOU ARE PREGNANT!". Guys don't get that. We have to wait for those moments where the doctor, with the help of technology, makes it real for us. I can't wait. I'm sure there will be a rush of sheer panic and total excitement that will wash over me. Not to mention the cool pictures and sound files you get. Should I bring my own recorder or do they give you a tape? I'll have to find that out.

I am a little nervous though. We know Kim is pregnant. We got that test down; with the numerous pregnancy tests we took. The doctor even confirmed that. Even though it still bothers me that I can't remember the words "Yes you are pregnant" come out of his mouth. But I guess he assumes we know since he keeps scheduling us for office visits. And since some statistics equate nausea with more successful pregnancies, we assume everything is great. But this will be the first of many times the doctors will evaluate that for us, and that scares me.

I'm sure everything is fine; in fact I know it is. But I will breathe easier when they tell me that.

Boy or Girl, I Was Screwed from Conception

I was thinking yesterday about how happy I am we are having a girl. There are a couple of reasons.

I've been worried that if we had a boy, because of how short both Kim and I are, he would be short to. I know what some of you are saying. Him you aren't short, but 5’ 6 1/2'' is pretty short to me. I know it isn't really that short, but believe me, it felt short growing up. Now, couple my height with Kim's 5' 5" frame and you might have yourself one short kid.

Besides, It is more socially expectable for a girl to be short. She isn't going to have problems dating boys or feel awkward in social situations if she is short (I'll be addressing her not dating boys in future posts). Not to mention it won't feel that weird for me if our daughter turns out to be taller than me.

We went to the Westmont Bagel near us yesterday. Behind Kim in another booth were six, freshman in college age, guys. It seemed that they were just done playing baseball or something. They were laughing and talking al the while being rough with each other. You Know, the typical banter and actions that you would expect from a bunch of guys. They seemed like nice upstanding young men; raised well by their parents (I thought this because they pretty much cleaned up after themselves). They were big, way bigger than me. At that moment I couldn't picture myself as anything else but a father to a daughter.
I tried to visualize one of the boys as my son. I couldn't see it. Why? I don't know. I would do all the things you would think a father would do with his son. So Why no connection? Maybe it is because I'm mentally preparing for a daughter.

But then... it something happened...

Moments later a young girl came in with what I guess was her mother. My mind almost exploded. She must have only been 13 or 14. The girl was wearing the shortest and tightest cotton jersey shorts ever; coupled with an equally too tight cotton tank. If that wasn't enough her stomach was showing slightly. These clothes were so ill-fitting and so tight that she must have dressed in the dark and put on her 7 year-old sister's clothes by accident.

The clothes squeezing her body so tight must have pumped a pheromone into the air. You could see the guys in the other booth almost tilting back their heads sniffing the air before they even saw her. Not only was I mad at the mother for allowing her daughter to dress like that, but I was mad at the college guys for making their funny comments about her.

Wait... No... Son-of-a-Bitch.
I'm having a daughter.

I will never and I mean never (and I say this now, knowing hard it must be to enforce) let our daughter wear clothes like that. I became once again aware that boys are going to look at our daughter like that.

Then I thought.

How can I be a father to a daughter?

Facts and Figures

I realize I haven't listed any information about how far along Kim is or any stats like that. That's because, one I forgot and two it has been very confusing for me. Some people say I am a smarty and able to understand things very easily. Not this pregnancy thing.

I blame it on our doctor.

It all started with the first office visit. When Kim called to set up our first appointment, they told us we had to wait till she was 8 weeks. So we did. When we got there the doctor said Kim was 61/2 weeks. Huh. Something about... he doesn't count the two weeks we count. I don't know.

All I know is that when I put in the date of Kim’s last period in the Babycenter.com, I get the same due date as the doctor. They provide a week by week progress list, the doctor didn't, so I will go by their weeks.

So here are some stats*

Date of birth** : February 9, 2006
gender*** : Female
Current status (weeks) : 11 weeks
Room status : not started
Kim's emotion status**** : Happy
Nausea level : moderate

I'll use Babycenter.com for the fetus descriptions. I'm not sure if they are the best but that is one of the websites Kim looked at. So until I find something better it will be the standard.

Our kid should be around 1 1/2 inches long and fully shaped with her fingers and toes separated, ready to open and close. The site also says she is probably kicking and stretching, although Kim won't feel that for a while. Her skin is transparent, allowing some blood vessels to show. That last bit sounds a lot like me. Babycenter.com description

*stats are subject to change upon finding out Him is stupid and was wrong
**subject to change, contest possibilities
***assuming the Baby Gender Mentor people don't suck and know what they are doing
****Subject to change based on Him's attentiveness and Kim's nausea level